i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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