I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
