dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize