you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize