if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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