I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
