my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
