I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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