are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
