We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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