They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
