That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
