Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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