11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
