I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
