ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
