It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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