It's Friday. Sex?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
