Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
