i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
