whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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