And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
