my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
