I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
