I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
