we're blogging at a bar
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
