you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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