If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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