You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize