the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I got inside last night via doggy door
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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