There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
