I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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