Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
