I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
