no. you can't hotbox the world.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
