Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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