Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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