it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
