the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
