god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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