After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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