Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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