how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
