I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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