so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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