Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I AM VODKA MAN
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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