I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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