I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it glows. i had to have it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
