Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
