her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
