Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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