These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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