Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
