I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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