haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
