I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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