Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
