I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm sobbing to NWA
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
