hell yes lets make some ravioli
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Will exercising make me less horny?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
