So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
