apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
